By Dorena D. Kohrs
Letting go. That thing that scares the crap out of me. That thing that drives me. The thing that I’ve built an entire business around.
It is my battle cry to whoever will listen.Let go of that which no longer serves you. If you don’t love it and you don’t use it, then it’s most likely clutter and it’s time to let it go.
- All those boxes of textbooks and old magazines sitting in the basement from 25 years ago — Get rid of them! Make office space for the business of your dreams.
- All those old suits hanging in your closet from your corporate days — Donate them! Splurge on a makeover and fill your closets with clothes befitting the new you.
- All those obligatory appointments cluttering your calendar — Cancel them! Reserve your time for those things that inspire you.
But what about those things you love? Can they still be clutter? Do you need to let them go?
The mere suggestion of this sends me spinning. It turns my blood cold and puts me into full blown resistance mode with a healthy dose of denial on the side.
All of this emotion invites opportunities to practice letting go of those things I love. That’s how it works. Our soul yearns to grow and what better way than to practice what challenges us.
My most recent opportunity started this spring as my oldest son’s college graduation crept closer and closer.
I didn’t expect the flood of emotions that swept over me, but silent streams of tears spontaneously found their way down my cheeks when I was still. I was no longer going to be able to describe all three of my children by what grade they were in. It was a feeling that made me want to hold on tight and stop time.
But time didn’t stand still. Graduation flew by, and my feelings of holding on intensified. My son was offered a job on a remote island researching lion fish. A continuation of an adventure that started 19 years ago when he declared that his new name was Diver Drew. An adventure that was filled with shark birthday parties and scuba diving lessons and hours in the science lab.
As his departure date loomed ahead, I found my mental clutter demanding more and more attention. It was covered in doubt and anxiety and fear. It was asking me questions like…
What if he gets sick?
What if he’s lonely?
What if he never comes home?
It was this last question that had been lurking in the dark recesses of my subconscious for months. It was the one driving my emotions and triggering the feeling that my heart was being ripped out of my chest. It is the question that made me realize how much mental clutter surrounds letting go of someone we love.
And how letting go of someone we love can be as necessary and freeing as letting go of something we don’t care about.
If I were to dwell on this mental clutter, then I would catapult myself out of the present moment. I would be putting a road block between my son and his dreams by inserting doubt and anxiety where trust belongs.
I would also be putting a roadblock between my son and I. The mental clutter would tempt me to reach out to him for reassurance and urge me to hold on tighter. It would be the catalyst for morphing my love into a straight jacket, which would feel desperate and restrictive, rather than trusting and limitless.
I would be chasing away the very thing I was trying to protect.
So instead of hanging on, I choose to let go of the fears dancing around in my head…the fear that our relationship will change in this new phase of his life, fear that he’ll slowly drift away from me, fear that this pushes me one step further away from motherhood.
This won’t be easy. Letting go never is.
But it will make space for my son to run confidently in the direction of his dreams.
It will allow me to continue to be his biggest cheerleader as well as to follow his lead and pursue my own dreams.
Dorena Kohrs is the owner of Breathing Room Professional Organizing, LLC. She holds her clients hands as they move from a place of overwhelm to a place of connection and peace. She specializes in offering long-term solutions that identify the stories that are hidden beneath the clutter. To learn more about Dorena and her work CLICK HERE.
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