By Lanette Pottle

There is one energy solution that isn’t getting a lot of press…actually it’s flying pretty low the radar.  It’s not sexy or high-tech. It almost seems too simple, but it’s not.


It’s not about the food you’r eating, the movement you’re making, or even the supplement you just took.  All those things are powerful in contributing to your energy levels but you already know all that. You’re reading this article because you want something new.

The solution that’s being overlooked is right under our noses.

It exists in the fact that words hold incredible energy; choosing yours carefully will heavily influence how you experience every day of your life.

The first time I had a specific and undeniable awakening around this topic was at a Success Principles workshop with Jack Canfield. 

He had us team up with someone we didn’t know. Next, he had us tell our partner all the things we couldn’t do.

Wait. What?! 

Wasn’t this a personal development event?  Why were we focusing  on the negative?

I didn’t like it, but I played along and what I can tell you is that there was a powerful lesson wrapped up in that little process.

After spending two minutes each (that felt like 2 hours!) sharing all of the things we couldn’t do we were instructed to go back through the list and tweak one little word — switch can’t to won’t. 

  • “I cant keep my car clean.”                 became…           “I won’t keep my car clean.”
  • “I can’t get 8 hours sleep.”                  became …          “I won’t get 8 hours sleep.”
  • “I can’t maintain a healthy weight”      became …          “I won’t maintain a healthy weight.”

OUCH!  It was like getting a brick dropped on my head from the 31st floor of a high-rise.  I’m not ashamed to tell you, it stung more than just a little bit.

The statements you use may be slightly different but I’m sure in just reading this you can feel an energy shift…even more so if you read the statements out loud. 

All that energy comes from one thing: how we choose to tell the story…whether it’s in the voice of a victim or comes from a place of power and choice.


I decided in that moment to stop giving my power away and call a spade a spade.  I’ve traded the word can’t  for won’t … and that prompted a few other changes, too.

See if you can relate with this one:

  • I have to finish this report.
  • I have to do laundry.
  • I have to go to my in-laws house.

Now try replacing “have to” with “get to”.  It’s about switching out of a martyr mindset and acknowledging that what we have a choice. What we get to do is a privilege, an opportunity.

And what about the shaming.  We do it to ourselves all the time.

  • I should help my neighbor.
  • I should make the appointment.
  • I should start exercising.

Give this one up,too. 

Either you will or you won’t. Make a decision then get on with it.  No one has time for the shame game.  It’s exhausting to even think about.

These are simple substitutions that will shift your energy and impact how you feel.

But let’s keep it real.  It’s not always going to be easy. Shifting out of the negative, energy-zapping, victim mindset requires us to interrupt our thoughts.

Here are four strategies to tuck away in your toolbox for those days you need a little extra help.

When I catch myself using a victim word I literally stop in my tracks and call BS.  I’ll say, “No, that isn’t true.” then I’ll rephrase what I really meant to say.

Sometimes I haven’t even made the victim statement out loud, it’s only a thought. I’ve found that it’s in these moments it’s even more important to call myself out… and to make the correction out loud. 

Don’t worry if people think you are a little nuts over there talking to yourself. Get comfortable with it. Because your energy and peace of mind is well worth it!


Stop rehearsing how bad you feel or how tired you are or how much on an inconvenience something is going to be.  Find a way to create a new story that includes gratitude and kindness. Visualize empowering and energetic outcomes.


Ever find yourself doing this?  Someone mentions to you the restless night they had and you quickly get right into the trenches with them to share that you got even less sleep.  Or maybe someone tells you about an injury or illness or — have mercy — their birthing story, and you immediately have to share how your experience rivals theirs?   

Quit it!

Everyone’s experience is their own and how you choose to tell your story is directly correlated to how you feel. Focus on the good rather than competing around how awful your situation is.


Creating a physical cue to interrupt your thoughts is also effective. 

Put a rubber band on your wrist. When you catch yourself slipping back into old patterns and using victim words, snap the rubber band. Your wrist might get a little sore from doing this but it does a wonderful job of keeping you present and helping you make the intentional move into a more positive conversation with yourself.

Solutions don’t have to be glamorous to work. 

What have you got to lose?Give it a try and pay attention to how your body physically responds to the change. Then go out there and put your new found energy to good use.


Lanette Pottle, founder of The Curiosity Library, is a success innovator + coach empowering curious-minded women to create success on their own terms so they can stress less, achieve more, and take time to savor life’s juicy goodness.  She’s a facilitator of breakthroughs who believes in infinite possibilities . Lanette is well known for her go-give spirit, positive attitude and enthusiastic personality.  Her superpowers include connecting people and inspiring others to take action.  Lanette walks her talk and lives her version of the good life in small town Maine. You can learn more about her and her work HERE

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